I have to admit I am uncomfortable with the word foreplay. This is because it makes it sound as if everything you do before a certain point is ‘warm up’, leading to a main event. The main event being penetration. However, the aspects of sex that most people think of as ‘just’ foreplay, are actually a big part of sex for many people. Penetration is just one ingredient in a very big (and varied) recipe.
No matter the formulation of a sexual relationship, sex isn’t just about penetration. Yes, it can be a fun aspect of it but it’s not everything. According to Planned Parenthood statistics as many as 80 percent of women have difficulty orgasming from vaginal intercourse alone. Think of foreplay as moreplay. This is the extra time you take to explore each other and enjoy yourselves.
Bullet Vibes – Adding Some Buzz to your Foreplay
A great starting point for introducing sex toys into your foreplay is to get a little bullet vibe.
Something like the Rocks-Off RO-120MM Ammo L’Amour Bullet Vibrator is a really good versatile item. I am also a fan of the WeVibe Touch which offers broader stimulation. Both these toys are unisex, and safe to use for any gender (just remember with no flared base it is NOT anal safe, let’s be smart please). You can use it to tease each other; try it on your partner’s nipples, and other erogenous zones. I had an ex who would melt if I used a bullet vibe on his ear lobes…..or if I touched them. You know those special areas on your partner that makes them putty in your hands, try holding the tip of the bullet vibe to them and see what happens. Watch carefully for their reactions (and stop if it gets too much). Another sensitive spot that can benefit from some vibration is the perineum, a super sensitive area between the anus and the scrotum or vulva. The important thing when introducing a sex toy like this is to pay attention to your partner, it can feel quite intense, especially if your partner isn’t used to vibrating toys.
Bondage Toys – Getting A Little Kinky
If you think you and your partner might be interested in trying something a little bit kinky, a great place to start can be with some nice light bondage type toys. There are some lovely starter kits available, and the Fantasy Bondage Kit from Fetish Fantasy Gold would be a good place to start. It has a blindfold, Handcuffs, and a small paddle. Blindfolds are a wonderful starter item because they can be used for sensory deprivation. When you blindfold your partner, they have no idea what you are going to do, so every touch and sensation is a surprise. It can really help heighten arousal, and build anticipation.
If you’ve ever tried spanking a paddle can be a lovely next step. It can add some extra sensation, and you can also spank for longer because your hand doesn’t get sore, although it is always worth warming the bottom up with a hand spanking before using the paddle. If you like the idea of impact play but want something a little bit softer (but also more stingy depending on the applied force) mini floggers are a great place to go. Something like the Oscuro Suede Mini Flogger with Leather Handle is going to be lovely. The soft suede will be lovely for trailing over a reddening bottom, and the whippy ends will give a nice sting if a good swing is used.
Couples Sex Toys – Couples that Play Together to Stay Together
My last suggestion is sex toy specifically made for couples to use together. It can be controlled using an app on your phone, so is also great for people who want to start their foreplay outside the bedroom (or home).
The We-Vibe 4 Plus has two arms; one to sit on the lady’s clit, and one to sit inside her. The idea being that the internal arm is much slimmer, so that you can have penetrative sex while it is in place. However, because you can also control it with the app, you can put it in place before you get dressed. Then while you’re out you can tease her by switching it on and playing with the vibration levels. This is a great way to start your foreplay before you’re even naked….if you have the nerve to try.
I hope this quick guide has given you some ideas for introducing sex toys to your moreplay as a couple. Remember, have fun and be safe.